I hate how high pitch my voice is. My younger cousin has a deeper voice than i do and I sound like a squeaky fucking girl. Tonight's just one of those nights where i'm in a self-depreciating mood I suppose. I'm just angry at myself, and disappointed, and disgusted, and tired.

Sigh.

I just wanna be happy again. I want to find peace again, but I don't see that as a likely occurrence in the near future and I don't know if i'll make it to a "far" future...

I miss her company, even if she was a jerk from time to time. I liked sleeping next to her.

but i try not to dwell too much on that now.

It doesn't help to look back on what I voluntarily walked away from.