I  hate me.

It's simple really.

I hate being me because "me" gives too much of himself...he's a stupid, idiotic, naive, selfless fool.

I try so hard to make people happy, and safe, and stay alive.

I believe the reason i live is to give up what I've got to heal others.

My best friends are really busy these days.

The me people "knew" is dead, so why don't they give it up already?

He DIED over last Winter. It's over. I'm different now. You people love him. Not me.

Remember him well. Forget me quick.

There's a man on the other side, and he's you. You are not words, and you never will be. Not to me. 

Maybe there was someone on the other side...once. He's dead. He's gone. Actions speak louder than words. I've done nothing. And talked much. Words mean little, while deeds do much. Read your own emails and chats. Read your words. You make me out to be less than real.

I'm just some stupid kid, who had a dream, and sits on his laptop and tries to help people with just words. I give hope to men and keep none for myself. 

I am no one. Nothing. Great. I'm in college. I have practically no friends. Okay? Ellington's great. He's in Maryland though...and he's busy most of the time. Melissa? Well, she's busy too.

They are/were my two best friends.

Who am i? Huh? What the heck do i do that makes a difference around here? 

Don't tell me "you touch everyone you've met". That's nice and all. It' doesn't DO anything.

No one cares about the pain i feel. No one can carry it. It's mine. 

I hate weakness and that's what i've become. Weak.

What kind of a joke of a life do i live? Hmm?

I'm pissed off

Okay? 

But hey? It's just a blog. You should never take anything i write here seriously, right? That's how it works? There are just words...they don't matter do they? 

Arrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhh!

I hate...i don't even know...i just hate...

Okay? So i'm a terrible person. I suck at relationships. I'm a hopeless idiot fool who's good for nothing..

Now just...forget about me. 

Forgotten? Good.

Cause this isn't the person you loved.

He's dead.

This is the new me. It's a piece of crap. 

Happy 2013.

[created on 2-13-13 but never posted]