Testing...1...2..3...

So, this is my first post everyone, so HI.

As the title suggests, i've got tests...three of 'em. Uggh. I don't want to take them, but heck, if i want good grades in my courses, i need to get good grades on my final exams. Well, the chem exam at least.

Things are quiet at home and the shoe's finally dropped. Dad accepted the job offer in MD. It's done. He leaves his current place of work in just a matter of weeks. We move some time in June or July. I agreed with Dad to take part in the process of looking at homes even though, in my heart, i kind of don't want to think about giving up my house here in NC. We have a fox den out back, an opossum that lives in the trees, a black rat snake, nuthatches, tufted titmice, the neighbors' cats, green anoles, brown snakes, ring-necked snakes, a Fowler's toad...i love my home. I can take lightning pictures out the front porch...i've taken some of my best pictures ever here...and won a contest with one too. The memories here are priceless...and the state is beautiful. I was bullied up in MD and had an awful time with doctors and needles and...just bad memories...i mean, it wasn't ALL bad...there was snow...and sledding and stuff...but the bad seems to overshadow the good...and the distance seems to put a damper on my mood. But, if nothing else, if we get a place with woods and a creek, like Wolfgirl's place, then maybe i can practice wilderness survival out back? I've never done much winter survival training on my own, as NC is just too warm in most parts at most times for anything of the sort. I would also be closer to my "Brother", who's not bound to me by blood so much as he is by compassion and kindness and is a kindred spirit. But i'd be leaving my "sister", who, same as  the brother, is more one i choose than kindred by blood, and she has been rather kind and caring, and helped me through some rough times in life a year or two ago...and the museum was/is home too. It's just change i guess, that gets me. I don't like big changes. Heck, i love trying new foods and visiting new places, but moving? No. It scares me...reminds me of when i had no stability...we'd move every three years, if not sooner...i lived almost ten years of my life without setting down any real roots without any real friends. I grew up and matured here in NC. How can i turn my back on that?

Sigh. Nothing to do but see what the future brings.

On a happier note. My relationship with Wolfgirl is stable(ish) despite my folks not being too pleased. She probably doesn't realize it, but i am very proud of her. She has grown strong over the last year and become a lot more "whole" since we met. Now, i can't take any real credit for that, as i did not do very much to help her...heck i abandoned her over winter, whether it was my choice or not. Anyways, she's doing well, and that pleases me. She seems to, more and more, express a desire to improve herself for herself and that's a great change from the depressed person i first met who was just clinging to life and going through the motions.

I guess i should get back to studying now...though i do not want to... Duty calls...and I must answer. I am nothing if not a soldier in the battles that life presents. God is my commander. Friends and family are my allies, and the unexpected and undesired parts of life are the battles in which we are all called to face. Some, run like cowards when no easy solution presents itself. Others turn predator and prey on the loners on the fringes, and fewer still weather the storms of battle tide honorably. May we all be among the ranks of the honorably victorious, for victory without honor is like life without emotions. Empty and cold, and not worth the price paid.

Arete'

-Wolf