Today is our last night staying in Hawai'i. The Marriott suite is nice though my sofa bed isn't super comfortable and I don't sleep too well in it, though I don't complain about it. I know how things are. My folks get the master bedroom..my sisters get the other room. I get the sofa bed. The view is nice. I get to see palm trees and the ocean. What isn't spectacular is people turning on the lights in the kitchen or entry way while I am trying to sleep or am sleeping. The other thing is having to constantly close and open the sofa bed twice a day. I can't leave it open because "that looks messy" and is "in the way". 

I have come to realize my mum and I are not close anymore. Anytime I try to hold her hand, hug her, or lean or rest my head against her, she shrugs me off or pulls away. Fair enough. 

I also see my little sister as being very moody and acting bratty towards me. It goes with the fact people seem to discount me.

My experience  and past is not really known to my family. 

It is cold.

I miss you, my love. I don't even know your name or where you are, but I love you. My heart aches to find you. I just hop I am finally worthy enough for your love. Worthy enough for my own satisfaction...

Wildcat found her mate. 

Marshmallow, despite cheating, has her mate.

The bratty bear was a liar and the rabbit too timid and clingy.

I am Wolf. When will I find my mate, my warrior queen?

I want so desperately to share all I have and all that I am with her. 

I feel lonely without you.

My ring makes me feel different. Hopeful. It makes me imagine my hands in yours. 

I want you. All of you. I need you in my life.

Someday. 

Someday...